Today I realized that it's been nearly a year since I've last seen my former fiance. I have not been on one single date in that time, though I made the sincere New Year's resolution to go on one meaningless date this year. I've not really met anyone interesting in that time, and so, I've not been really tempted to date.
Well, tonight at work, a verrrrrry nice looking gentleman came in with his grandmother (we're keeping in mind, I hope, that I work evenings at a retirement home.) He came in, and I felt a little awed by his nice-looking-ness. He asked how I was doing, and I said, "I'm doing well, thanks." The lady passing through behind him said, "You always say that," and blushing, I replied, "Well, if there was one thing I learned in high school, it was how to be grammatically correct." The lady then shook her head and walked away, and the gentleman stood there, laughing. I said, "How are you?" To which he replied, "I'm well..." We awkwardly chuckled over this, and as always, I decided to take matters a step too far. "I guess you could be doing good." He looked down at me, confused, and I added, "You know, like for humanity." He shook his head slowly, the joke lost on him, and I resolved to never again try and use grammar for flirting purposes.
He then left. No information was exchanged.
I'd like to think that maybe I seduced him with my awkwardness. Just a little.
lundi 12 mars 2012
lundi 5 mars 2012
Hidden treasures in Kindergarten
I just love Kindergarten sometimes. You can never anticipate what will happen next.
Today, I was directing a reading group and noticed that one of the girls would not sit down. I asked her to sit. She attempted (painfully) but then sprung back up.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Nothing," she said.
But by then, I had figured out that a whole lot of "not nothing" was going on. Her butt was sticking out about a mile.
"What do you have in your pants?" I asked.
"Nothing," she said, starting to blush a little.
"Are you going to show me or am I going to have to look?" I asked, unsure of what I would do if she didn't voluntarily show me the contraband.
So, she reached down inside her underware, and I had a brief seize of panic when I considered that maybe it was a colostomy bag or something, but then, she pulled out a watch. Then a plastic horse. Then a miniature Barbie. She had a whole collection of McDonald's toys jammed in there.
I just looked at her, shocked and unsure of what even to say.
"I'll put these in my backpack," she said, breaking the silence.
I nodded, swallowed, and replied, "I think that would be a good idea..."
Today, I was directing a reading group and noticed that one of the girls would not sit down. I asked her to sit. She attempted (painfully) but then sprung back up.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Nothing," she said.
But by then, I had figured out that a whole lot of "not nothing" was going on. Her butt was sticking out about a mile.
"What do you have in your pants?" I asked.
"Nothing," she said, starting to blush a little.
"Are you going to show me or am I going to have to look?" I asked, unsure of what I would do if she didn't voluntarily show me the contraband.
So, she reached down inside her underware, and I had a brief seize of panic when I considered that maybe it was a colostomy bag or something, but then, she pulled out a watch. Then a plastic horse. Then a miniature Barbie. She had a whole collection of McDonald's toys jammed in there.
I just looked at her, shocked and unsure of what even to say.
"I'll put these in my backpack," she said, breaking the silence.
I nodded, swallowed, and replied, "I think that would be a good idea..."
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